Becoming a Media Savvy Parent
By: Meredith O'Brien
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| There are larger than life SpongeBob SquarePants balloons sitting triumphantly atop Burger Kings' across America. There's an onslaught of products and advertisements at every turn promoting movies like The Incredibles, all aimed at my three kiddos. | ||
| Here's the problem: Those films are rated PG, not G—and my kids include two kindergarteners and a preschooler. | ||
| As a parent who'd like to provide pleasure to my children, I want to let them see a funny flick that seems (at least from the ads) to be family friendly and for them to get that fun movie theater experience. But I'm stopped in my tracks by the PG rating and am uncertain of the type of content in the movies. The reviews in the newspaper don't shed much light on how the films would be perceived by my small kids. | ||
| So what's a thoughtful parent—someone who doesn't want her children exposed to violence, bad language, or scary scenes—to do? And, while I'm at it, what am I supposed to do to protect my kids from the avalanche of marketing targeted squarely at their hearts and my wallet? | ||
| The answer, at least according to one expert on children and the media, is for parents to do their homework on movies and TV shows, examining what exactly is shown in those productions before taking kids into a theater or putting a DVD on and leaving the room to go make dinner. On too many occasions, parents simply allow their kids to view films or shows ostensibly aimed at children, but don't realize what the productions contain and what sort of negative impact (like nightmares and violent imitative behavior) they may yield for the children, says Professor Joanne Cantor, an expert on the effects of mass media on children at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. | ||
| But before reading parent-oriented movie reviews—like trying to find out exactly what's in that SpongeBob movie aside from his bizarre laughter—Cantor says parents should understand how media images affect different age groups. | ||
Children Ages 2-7 Protecting children from certain content that may frighten them or goad them into bad behavior requires different approaches based on age, Cantor says. Very young children (two to seven years old) are literal and believe what they see, regardless of what their parents say. For example, you can tell a three-year-old that what happens in a movie like Beauty and the Beast is just pretend. The preschooler may nod, but will likely still believe the violent scenes and the frightening transformation of the Beast into a prince are real. The visuals nullify the explanation. "When they're very young, you have to intervene," Cantor says. | ||
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In her book Mommy, I'm Scared: How TV and Movies Frighten Children and What We Can Do to Protect Them, Cantor offers the following guidelines for what is and is not appropriate viewing material for children. Scenes in movies or TV shows that parents should keep away from this age group include: | ||
| Cantor believes that as a rough guideline, it's best to wait until a child reaches age four before setting foot in a movie theater; but even then, parents have to be vigilant about what the film and the previews may contain.
If you have a young child who has been frightened by something she's seen on TV or in a movie, try these tips from Cantor: | ||
Children Ages 7-12 At around ages six to eight years old, children begin developing the ability to discuss their feelings regarding movie scenes and start to understand their meaning and what's fact versus fantasy, Cantor says. "You can talk to them, depending on what the thing is that they saw," she says. If something from a movie or a TV show frightens the child, "find a truthful thing [to say] that makes them feel safe," she suggests. | ||
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Cantor says scenes in movies or TV shows that parents should keep away from this age group include: | ||
Parents: Do Your Homework So, back to the SpongeBob movie conundrum. If you're a parent and you're trying to decide whether to take your child to a movie—keeping in mind what types of images are appropriate for your child's temperament and age—you need to find out what's in the film, regardless of its rating and accompanying promotional campaign, because even G-rated movies can instill fear (Wizard of Oz anyone?). | ||
| Cantor recommends that parents read online movie reviews that assess films and DVDs based on a variety of factors, ranging from level of violence and imitative behavior to frightening scenes, profanity, and sexual innuendo. But reviews range widely in what is deemed appropriate for certain age groups. Take the aforementioned SpongeBob movie. | ||
| One well-regarded movie reviewing website—Screen It!—says the film has heavy doses of violence, disrespectful/bad attitudes, and an extreme amount of scary/tense music with moderate imitative behavior. The website goes into minute detail explaining its rating, down to how numerous scenes may be seen by children. | ||
| Meanwhile, the National Institute on Media and Family's review of the movie gives it 2.5 out of 5 stars and says that it's best for kids over age three. On seven measures ranging from violence to sex, the review gives parents a green light to go ahead. "The humor is directed at the very young," the review says. | ||
| Still another online review of SpongeBob, this one by the "Movie Mom" on Yahoo.com, describes the film as appropriate for ages six and up, labeling it as having "comic violence, peril and mayhem" as well as "very mild potty humor, drooling 'she's hot' comments." The Movie Mom gives the film a B-. | ||
| Cantor says that once parents read details on what kinds of scenes a movie or a TV show contains, they need to determine what is appropriate for their individual children, as well as discuss scenes with their kids. In fact, the Movie Mom offers a series of questions parents considering taking their gradeschooler to SpongeBob should discuss with their children after screening the film. | ||
Watch Media in the Home But the best option for young children, Cantor says, is to watch media in the home where parents can control the circumstances, instead of going to a movie theater (that can seem overwhelmingly large to a small child) and wondering whether you should leave in the face of inappropriate content after laying down a hefty chunk of money to watch the film. She recalls one instance when Jim Carrey's The Grinch Who Stole Christmas film was previewed before a kids' movie began. When Carrey made a grotesque face on screen, Cantor says the theater, packed with children, seemed to explode with sobbing panic. If you go to the movies, "It's out of your control," she says. | ||
| In the home, parents are in the driver's seat. "If you're unsure about the content, sit down and watch it with them, be prepared to turn it off or mute it," Cantor says. Doing this trains your children, empowers them with the concept that they can mute or shut off the TV if they see scenes that disturb them instead of having them think that they have to sit through it. "They're going to be on their own eventually, so getting them to recognize what makes them scared [is important]," she says. | ||
| There are also programs, like the Clear Play DVD filtering system, which parents can install on their DVD machines that screen out various scenes deemed inappropriate by parents based on type of scene or a child's age. | ||
Talk Back to the TV To try to ward off the power of the marketers—who pedal toys, DVDs, junk food and a plethora of other products to kids—teaching children how to use the mute button when advertisements come on (explaining that the ads are trying to make the kids spend money on things they don't need) can help. Letting them know that they can control what they hear and see by turning off the volume can help diffuse the power of the ads, but it's not a foolproof answer. "If you're showing someone this gorgeous toy and then you tell them that it won't be gorgeous when it gets home, that goes right over children's heads," Cantor says. | ||
| Teaching your child to react to what he sees on the television critically, rather than passively, can also help cultivate some media savvy, other experts advise, particularly when images involving sex and violence come on the screen. Use scenes on TV as opportunities to discuss issues with your older children. "Start talking," urges Sharon Maxwell, a Massachusetts clinical psychologist who developed sex-ed curriculum for gradeschoolers. "Start making sense of the culture to the kids. Let them know what your values are. First matters. You want to have your ideas there first." | ||
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Meredith O'Brien is a freelance journalist living in the Boston area. She has written for a variety of well-respected news organizations and websites on topics ranging from parenting and pediatric development to politics and journalism ethics. She was a co-author of the 1996 book The Buying of the President. O'Brien currently teaches media criticism at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst. 